Back to the Beginning....

For those of you who didn’t know, Jordan is taking masters classes through IWU's new Online Masters of Divinity program! So he will be working hard for the next 3 years while he is in Seminary!!! This created an opportunity to come back to Indiana Wesleyan for a week...back to the beginning of our lives together. As our friend Chris Mieksell puts it...where the magic happened. Jordan has classes from 8:30 am- 5:00pm! Talk about a rough schedule. My schedule is quite easy and quite relaxing though. :) I have gotten up with him, taken him to school, and then I go work out for 2 hours at the Rec. I have spent the rest of my days reading by the fire place at McConn Coffee Shop. This is where I spent countless hours studying and reading for my 4 years at IWU.

So nestled in my comfy fire side chair with a nice raspberry white mocha I found myself completing my first book of the week. The Five Love Languages written by Gary Chapmen. I was given this book as a gift from Jennifer Lee who was my prayer partner at The OAKS Camp! She is an incredible woman, mother, and wife!!! She gave me this book knowing the Lord would use it in my life as I am finding out how I can better love others and how I can be filled with love more!
So getting back to the beginning of things seems to be the theme for the last few days....the author talks about how there is this "falling in love experience" at the beginning of marriage and for most couples it dies out within 2 years. I am wondering if this is the reason Jordan and I have heard so many complaints about marriage. You probably know all the jokes if you have been married or are engaged...you might even say these kinds of things!
ex. "You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into."

"You have only ____ days of freedom left!" (If you’re engaged)

"The ball and chains joke" (I never really caught on to that one)

There are so many more jokes that we have heard that are so awful. Most people might take these lightly and brush them off and hope that they will never feel that way or that it is just normal for life to take that direction. The people who tell the jokes may often end with a...."I'm just playing with you" but to tell you the truth, I doubt they really are "just playing." But maybe these jokes are told because for so many married couples their love has seemed to "die down" and that crazy in-love obsession that they once had has turned into a constant struggle to get back to how they once felt about each other. I wonder if they even know how to try to mend things the right way...the unselfish way! "Love is not about you, its a choice to love. That choice may involve something you hate to do!"

Jordan and I have talked to one another about how we can never let our love for each other get to a point of disappointment and let that fire burn out. Here is the most important lesson I got out of this book...

"We can recognize the falling in-love experience for what it was--a temporary emotional high--and now pursue "real love" with our spouse. That kind of love is emotional in nature but not an obsession. It is a love that unites reason and emotion. It involves an act of the will and requires discipline, and it recognizes the need for personal growth."

To pursue this real love experience for the rest of my life, I have realized it will take effort! Thankfully I read this book now! I have not moved out of that "in-love" obsession yet and have in no way close to letting the fire burn out...but I am happy that I now understand why I see so many unhappy marriages and have gained tools for preventing destruction from happening. I truly believe that this book could revolutionize your marriage or prepare you for a marriage full of "real love". The 5 Love Languages is in my top 10 favorite books, I challange anyone who wants to know how to love better to read this book!!!!

KRG